The Prick of the Litter – Episode IV

26 Jul

The Bench

By nine o’clock the video had been viewed more than nine thousand times.

It wasn’t much to look at. Forty-three seconds of shaky cell phone footage posted to Nextdoor. A ribbon fluttering in the breeze. A city councilor applauding. A bronze plaque catching the afternoon sun. Somewhere off-camera, a child let out a sing-song whine about ice cream.

The title read simply: “That new bench on the Common.”

The first dozen comments were predictable.

“Beautiful addition.”

“Nice to see people giving back.”

“Great, but needs shade trees.”

Then, at 8:17 p.m., CantSitStill, an anonymous account that no one seemed to recognize, joined the conversation. “Too bad his father won’t sit on it,” was all they said, and nothing more.

By morning, the post had turned into an online trial.

Victor Haskell refreshed the thread every thirty seconds. He half-expected the dedication to earn a polite newspaper brief and perhaps get a well-framed photograph for the annual report of the Haskell Foundation. Instead, strangers were debating his childhood, his marriage, his taxes, his politics and, most bafflingly, his father.

“Isn’t his dad dead?”

“No, just saw him at Whole Foods.”

“T heard they’re estranged.”

“My cousin worked for Victor. He can be difficult. Believe the comment.”

“Believe what?”

“Believe what you see is not reality. Wealth comes easily to those who have not earned it.” CantSitStill responded and then went silent in the wake of the tidal wave of follow-up questions.

Victor had paid nearly forty thousand dollars for the bench —fine, marbled New Hampshire granite, reclaimed ash and a custom bronze plaque honoring his father:

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Reviews of “The Dink” and “Motor City”

26 Jul

A mishit and a backfire from two new movies

“The Dink”

⭐⭐Rating: 2 out of 4

What if a top tennis player faltered in their career and had to slum it on the pickleball circuit? That’s kind of the loose “Happy Gilmore”—esque concept behind this not quite pickled-enough comedy that stars Jake Johnson (“New Girl,” “Drinking Buddies”) as said fictional tennis star Dustin Boyd. Boyd is a one-time rival of real-life great Andy Roddick, but an injury means he now toils as a club pro. When he dips his toe into the pickleball waters he gets crushed by a pair of 70-year-old grannies — Dustin, known as “The Hammer” in his tennis heyday, doesn’t understand finesse or the parameters of the smaller court. Then there’s the heralded, anemic drop-shot of the title (which the film uses as a running gag until it is past tired).

As the might-have-been superstar trying to pivot, Johnson doesn’t quite have the bravado needed for the part. The ace serve here — the script’s written by “Kevin Can F*** Himself” scribe Sean Clements—comes in Dustin falling for an older woman (a pitch perfect Mary Steenburgen) who’s not so sure she’s attracted to her younger suitor. The May-December pairing does score points when the two sit down for a movie night “date” and watch “The Graduate” and Dustin, busts on the other Dustin for having a big nose (Johnson has a pretty protuberant proboscis himself).

Directed by Josh Greenbaum (“Strays”) and co-produced by Ben Stiller, who has a small part too, the flick built around a feeble flick shot does best when the Greek chorus of feisty Floridian nanas are taunting Dustin and Roddick — who plays himself ­— in a match where the winner claims the deed to the tennis club owned by Dustin’s dad (Ed Harris, poorly used here). Heckling, it turns out, is the crosscourt humor that saves this cinematic dink from busted string ruin and John McEnroe’s woefully wooden intonations. 

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“The Odyssey”

17 Jul

Epic storytelling brings the original anti-hero to life

⭐⭐⭐Rating: 3 out of 4

Christopher Nolan’s $250 million retelling of Homer’s classic sword-and-sandal epic is here. And it is also epic, with a nearly three-hour running time. The film delivers, if unevenly, but when the bow is strung and taut, “The Odyssey” flies with fury and purpose. Even though we know how the millennia-old story ends, there are plenty of surprises and moments of wonder. 

The central conflict in “The Odyssey” is not battle. It’s a post-war saga centered on Odysseus’s 20-year trek home after the conclusion of the 10-year Trojan War — you know, the one over Helen, the face that launched a thousand ships. Troy (in modern-day Turkey) was a strategic foothold and a gateway between the Aegean and Black seas — you could think of it as the Strait of Hormuz circa 1200 B.C.

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Reviews of “Office Romance,” “Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass” and “Evil Dead Burn”

12 Jul

Two new rom-coms and a zombie movie

“Office Romance”

⭐⭐ Rating: 2 out of 4

There’s plenty of turbulence — and even some flatulence — but few romantic sparks in this Jennifer Lopez showcase about a tough female CEO who gets involved with her corporate attorney. The rub is that the airline company, AirCruz, has a no-office-romance policy. It’s a fireable offense, so you’d think J.Lo’s hard-charging Jackie Cruz (she’s also a pilot) would have no problem tweaking the policy. But then where would the comedy go?

The answer doesn’t really matter since the romance between Jackie and her new, hot-shot attorney Daniel Blanchflower (Brett Goldstein), a relocated Englishman, is the least interesting thing in the movie. Goldstein’s buttoned-up Brit is best when in scenes with actors other than J.Lo, especially his sister (Jodie Whittaker, funny but underused), who’s in prison for beheading someone with a machete, or Sydney (Betty Gilpin, so good in “The Hunt”), the quirky and very pregnant number-two at AirCruz, who seemingly has a thing for Jackie and views Daniel as the enemy. Their frequent stare-downs are one of the better gags in “Office Romance,” as is Bradley Whitford (“Get Out”) as the boisterous lead counsel sidelined by a breakfast burrito. Wasted in smaller roles are Edward James Olmos as Jackie’s father, who started the airline, and Mary Wiseman as an office assistant with bad irritable bowel syndrome.

Goldstein and fellow “Ted Lasso” writer Joe Kelly (Goldstein also acts in the soccer series) throw everything and the kitchen sink into the script — the British use of the C-word, World Cup star Jude Bellingham, and sex play while dressed as a Buckingham Palace guard. Think “Notting Hill” by way of “American Pie.” It doesn’t fly, but there are a few chuckles along the taxiway of failed funnies.

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“The Invite”

11 Jul

The dinner itself is a messy and ribald look at marriage, says our review of “The Invite.”

Questions of happiness and fulfillment take center stage in “The Invite,” a barbed comedy about a couple at a bitter crossroads in their marriage. Angela (Olivia Wilde) and Joe (Seth Rogen) are further challenged by their upstairs neighbors who, over the course of a single dinner, amplify every marital tension with passive-aggressive relish. Wilde, the actress who served notice as a filmmaker with the puckishly insightful “Booksmart” (2019), then faltered with the 2022 “Don’t Worry Darling,” gets back to her funny-not-funny roots with this adaptation of the 2020 Spanish film “The People Upstairs.” 

The tart script by Will McCormack and Rashida Jones feels like it was written for the nuanced personalities of this cast. Seth Rogen centers the ensemble with his large and loud everyman, Joe, a failed musician who teaches music at a middling conservatory. Angela is a soul adrift. What defines them most as a couple — and holds them together — is their preteen daughter and their collective unease with their station in life. Bougie problems, to be sure, but palpable and real. They also haven’t had sex in nearly a year, and that’s why the dinner invite to the newish couple upstairs is such a loaded gambit. Joe wants to confront them about the raucous sex that keeps them up at night, while Angela admires the woman’s ability to have vigorous and vocal orgasms.

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“Young Washington”

5 Jul

Happy 250th, ‘Merica, from Angel Studios, which brings us this founding father and first president origin story. We might not all be in the flag-waving mood, what with MMA on the South Lawn, war with Iran and ICE raids (though maybe that gets your patriotic fervor going), but this tells a chapter of Washington’s life you might not know, his early rise from Virginia surveyor to major of a militia detachment under British command.

The time is the 1750s, a quarter-century before Washington will take command of the rebel army on the Cambridge Common. The young patriot-to-be, played by William Franklyn-Miller with bland stiffness (perhaps requisite to the role), is tasked with a reconnaissance mission in the Ohio River Valley, where the French are busily erecting forts and laying land claims. Washington and his unprepared troops get their tricorn hats handed to them.  

The French, aided by Indigenous warriors, had already adopted guerrilla tactics — shooting from the wooded hills at the red coats lined up in the meadow below waiting to engage in “proper battle.” Washington serves as an advisor to General Braddock (Andy Serkis), the British commander brought in to clean up the brink-of-war mess. Washington warns him of the new way of warfare in the New World, but Braddock’s hubris and dismissiveness ultimately spark the French and Indian War of 1754-1763, and the cocksure tactician’s own demise.  

The movie is neither as jingoistic nor Christian-leaning as the family values studio’s earlier projects, “Sound of Freedom” (2023), “Cabrini” (2024) and this year’s “David.” There’s no triumphant payoff to “Young Washington.” It more illustrates the budding resolve of the man who would later cross the Delaware and become page one in United States lore. It’s interesting and informative history, but not great filmmaking — the dialogue’s stilted, the acting at times is hyperbolic and the directional timing is off.

The best line comes from Half-King Tanacharison (Ryan Begay), leader of a small band of Seneca warriors who embed with Washington for that ill-fated recon mission but refuse to re-up, telling Washington, “When you are finished killing each other we will reclaim our land.” In the mix in small parts are veteran actors Ben Kingsley (Virginia’s lieutenant governor), Mary-Louise Parker (George’s mom) and Kelsey Grammer (Lord Fairfax). As the end credits roll, Grammer, out of costume, pleads with viewers to make “Young Washington” the number one movie in America by scanning a QR code to “pay it forward” — buy a ticket so some other American can saunter in for free and learn some history adjacent to the ongoing semiquincentennial celebration. A big ask, given the  new Spielberg movie,  Minions  and “Toy Story 5.”  

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Reviews of “In the Hand of Dante” and “Little Brother”

4 Jul

“In the Hand of Dante”

An impressive A-list cast and some astonishing visuals get wasted in this fatuous fantasy from one of the more interesting minds behind the camera these days — Julian Schnabel, the painter turned filmmaker who delivered such arty provocations as “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (2007) and “Basquiat” (1996). The film, based on the 2002 book of the same name by Nick Tosches, is a maniacal mashup of historical icons and modern noir. As a writer. Tosches hovered in the realm of gonzo journalism (best known for his vivid Jerry Lee Lewis biography, “Hellfire”) and made himself the centerpiece of “In the Hand of Dante,” as a writer tasked by the mob to unearth, ascertain and validate the original 14th century copy of Alighieri’s “Divine Comedy.”

The reliable Oscar Isaac plays both Nick and Dante in the two timelines. The former is recruited by a heavy named Joe Black (an underused John Malkovich) and partnered with an oafish hitman (Gerard Butler with a bad dye job) for the paper chase that naturally leads them to Italy (from Jersey to Rome with love). Along the way Butler’s beefy takes out nearly everyone they come into contact with including an elderly woman who does little more than serve them tea, a priest and even a sleeping dog.

Much of the film is stunningly shot in stark black and white by Roman Vasyanov (“Fury”), though there are switches to color when Dante is scouring the Italian coastline seeking enlightenment and inspiration. The film’s driven by a lot of pretentious dialogue about the value and vision of the central document and boasts a body count that requires at least two sets of hands. Most alluring, however, is the casting of Martin Scorsese — hardly recognizable behind a Papa Smurf beard as a religious oracle named Isaiah — and Al Pacino as Nick’s uncle Carmine. The bigger spectacle is Butler pulling double duty as the pope himself and Jason Momoa as yet another hitman in a pristine white suit, who’s saddled with some of the most preposterous and inanely philosophical lines in the film. Gal Gadot adds an angelic presence but is lost in the underwritten role of Nick’s secretary cum love interest. She also takes another one for the team as Dante’s spurned wife, Gemma. At two-and-a-half hours, “In the Hand of Dante” should have been leaner and more tightly honed. It probably could have leaned in more on Tosches’ gonzo sensibilities, as well. For the normally visionary Schnabel, this is his “Megalopolis” (2024).

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So far, so fun for Cambridge’s version of Bourbon Street

28 Jun

Special open container zones and extended hours for alcohol service have drawn crowds for World Cup watch parties, but not complaints. Central Square’s happens Friday afternoon.

From the Tartan Army to the Tall Ships,  Cambridge is a prime beneficiary of the legislative mouthful called the Act Authorizing Municipalities to Opt-In to a Temporary Pilot to Extend the Hours of Liquor Licenses and to Allow for Public Consumption in Designated Districts in Summer 2026. Maybe we can just call it Bourbon Street comes to Boston.

Cambridge was first to sign up after Gov. Maura Healey signed the bill earlier this month, giving municipalities the opportunity to extend bar and restaurant last calls by one hour (but no later than 3 a.m.) and allow participating establishments to offer to-go alcohol that can be consumed on the street in designated social districts.

The city saw it as dovetailing with the Cambridge United initiative to host soccer watch parties throughout the city for each match held at Foxborough’s Gillette Stadium (Boston Stadium is its name for the duration of the World Cup).

The pilot period started June 12 and runs through the end of July, intentionally spanning the World Cup and the arrival of the Sail Boston Tall Ships.

Somerville, meanwhile, allowed the extended last call hour, but did not enact designated public drinking districts, saying the city was not laid out in a way that made sense from logistical point of view.

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Reviews of “Masters of the Universe” and “Leviticus”

25 Jun

“Leviticus”

Nothing like a homophobic township with the power of God behind it to execute a modern version of the “Crucible,” complete with supernatural manifestations. Adrian Chiarella’s directorial debut depicts two teens who are tormented for who they are by the usual posse of bullies, as well as a supernatural manifestation.

We meet the boyishly naive Naim (Joe Bird) and edgier Ryan (Stacy Clausen) as two kids exploring an abandoned mill. They get to horsing around, trading punches and falling to the ground in a violent bear hug that quickly relaxes into a loose hug and ultimately a kiss. There it is, they’re rebel lovers going against the grain in the deeply religious rural Australian town where they live.

Naim later witnesses Ryan intimately grappling with another classmate, Hunter (Jeremy Blewitt). Jealous, Ryan tells the town’s pastor (Ewen Lesley), who happens to be Hunter’s dad. What ensues is an exorcism performed by a “deliverance preacher” (Nicholas Hope) brought in to force the gay out of the lads (Naim’s mom, Mia Wasikowska of “Alice in Wonderland,” forces him to endure the ritual because he’s too close to Ryan).

It seems hokey at first, but the brief fire and brimstone rite unleashes a personal demon that torments each boy in isolation, by taking the form of the person each boy desires most (Naim for Ryan, and vice versa). Lust is its lure, bloodlust its mission. It’s a frightening change that no one else can see, and it leads to terrible ends first for a young woman and then for Hunter. Yet somehow, their bullying classmates manage to be worse.

The film’s title refers to the Bible’s third book, which contains Old Testament laws defining sin, purity and sexual conduct that some use to condemn homosexuality.

The small-town dwellers are shepherded into an angry horde by Hope’s outsider. The performances by Bird and Clausen are pivotal, and the rest of the ensemble are also strong. But the characters of Naim and especially Ryan feel underdeveloped. The supernatural element also is wispy. The message, however, is not. Chiarella creates effective eerie and edgy moments. He’s another budding horror auteur like Kane Parsons (“Obsession”) and Curry Baker (“Backrooms”), who know how to craft mood and scene beyond their years, but have room to grow to conjure spirit and soul.

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Toy Story’s 5th another fine production

24 Jun

The much-loved franchise in “Toy Story 5” continues to tap into universal human themes with care and soul.

The latest installation of the “Toy Story” franchise extends its record as one of the most adaptable film franchises. Perhaps its success comes from its palpable themes of vulnerability — being replaced, being outgrown or forgotten, becoming irrelevant. Maybe it’s the potpourri of misfits, voiced by A-list talent, that come together to seal the rift du jour dividing them. Of course, the initial 1995 “Toy Story” set the gold standard of CGI animation and pretty much was the catalyst for the Oscar for Best Animated Feature that came into being in 2001 — the 1995 film won a special Oscar for ground-breaking animation, while “Toy Story 3” (2010) and “Toy Story 4” (2019) both won that “Best” award. It also has creative continuity — this new version is directed by Andrew Stanton, who’s been involved in the script and story from the get-go, back in the John Lasseter/pre-Disney years. Stanton’s no slouch behind the lens, with “Finding Nemo” (2003) and “WALL-E” (2008) to his credits (he did also direct the 2012 box-office flop “John Carter”).

In “Toy Story 5,” co-directed by McKenna Harris, Cowgirl Jesse (Joan Cusack) takes center focus, during an all-out effort to find a like-minded companion for eight-year-old Bonnie (Scarlett Spears), who is having difficulty making friends. In “Toy Story 3” Bonnie was gifted the olio of toys when older brother Andy grew up and went off to college.

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