Short Takes
‘Heads of State’ (2025)
They could have called this one “Peacemaker and Bloodsport Run for Office,” as it leverages the great yin-and-yang chemistry that actors John Cena and Idris Elba forged in the hilarious Harley Quinn DC comic reboot, “The Suicide Squad” (2021). Here they play Will Derringer (Cena), a former action movie star elected Potus, and British prime minister Sam Clarke (Elba). Derringer – an obvious and affectionate riff on Arnold Schwarzenegger – is famous for his “Water Cobra” films, whereas Clarke was a career commando before moving into the political realm. There’s a bit of a rift between the two, as it was perceived that Clarke supported Derringer’s rival by having fish and chips with them. Clarke and Derringer meet at a European summit and afterward, for squirrelly reasons, Derringer offers to give Clarke a lift on Air Force One. As Harrison Ford is nowhere nearby, the big jumbo jet is plucked from the sky by an international terrorist ring (led by an ever-menacing Paddy Considine), and Clarke and Derringer have to go off-grid and escape Belarus. While the two are assumed dead, their respective successors seek to dissolve Nato, and the U.S. intelligence network is hijacked by hackers. Fairly generic stuff made pleasantly smirk-worthy by the playful onscreen Frick-and-Frack chemistry of its leads and some nifty pacing and action scene choreography by director Ilya Naishuller (“Nobody”). Adding comic spice and sporty can-do are Jack Quaid (“The Boys”) as a wacky CIA safe house operative and Priyanka Chopra Jonas (“The White Tiger” and “Matrix Resurrections”) as a game British agent who served with Clarke in the military.
‘Jurassic World: Rebirth’ (2025)
This reboot of Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the Michael Crichton dino resurrection saga, “Jurassic Park” (1993), unearths another fangless script that seems more intent on box office pandering than improving the series – which is surprising, as it’s by original “Jurassic” screenwriter David Koepp. He’s seemingly been super busy working with Steven Soderbergh on “Presence” and “Black Bag,” which might explain why a normally reliable pen ran out of ink. What’s there to know? A crew of mercenaries (funded by Big Pharma) led by Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali is hired to tag and bag blood samples from the biggest land, air and sea dinosaurs still inhabiting the defunct South American island theme park that’s been at the core of the two series in the franchise (“Parks” and “Worlds”). Calling the shots is company moneyman Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend, so good as a smarmy wretch), buttoned up and aboard to oversee the operation. There’s plenty of redshirts around too to serve as dino chum, as well as paleontologist Dr. Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), who studied under Sam Neill’s Alan Grant from the original “Jurassic Park.” The crew is run aground by a monstrous mosasaur, then attacked on land by a variety of other dinosaurs; there’s even a requisite T. rex attack. A wayward family is wrecked on the island, creating an opportunity for the money-hungry to once again show the depth of their humanity or avarice. The last group of scientists on the island experimented with crossbreeding dinos to make newer, meaner theme park attractions, but the resulting beasts encountered here are as uninteresting as the rest of the movie. One looks like a large version of the alien birthed by Ripley in “Alien: Resurrection” (1997) and others look like velociraptors crossbred with a bat, with jowly double chins and potbellies – silly and unimposing, though the T. rex shooting the rapids of a raging river makes for a rare, inspired cinematic spectacle. ScarJo and Ali, as well as Friend and Bailey, get moments to shine, but there are epochs between. If this is where the series is going, extinction might be best for all.
‘The Old Guard 2’ (2025)
I’m a sucker for pretty much anything Charlize Theron does. Not only is she talented and possessing of copious onscreen charisma and charm, but I dig her willingness to try new genres and take risks. She won an Academy Award for her part as real-life serial-killer Aileen Wuornos in “Monster” (2003), kicked royal ass as a Cold War operative in the slick actioner “Atomic Blonde” (2017) and sparkled in the politically themed rom-com “Long Shot” (2019). “Old Guard” (2020) looked to be an “Atomic Blonde”-esque thrill ride with Theron as Andy (aka Andromache of Scythia), who has lived for centuries and now leads a special-ops unit filled with immortals. Aside from some neat fight choreography, though, the original “Old Guard” was about as limp as one of the immortal’s broken legs that eventually (and painfully) heal back in place so they can keep beating down the baddies. It definitely did not need a sequel, but here we are with an even less inspired semi-superhero outing. It falls short despite the inclusion of Uma Thurman getting her “Kill Bill” back on as an entity named Discord – the Cruella de Vil of the immortals – who has freed Andy’s old partner Quỳnh (Vân Veronica Ngô) from years of imprisonment at the bottom of the sea and wants to use her to gain world-dominating power … or something like that. Andy’s also now mortal (slow healing, and the hangovers suck) but still in the special-ops game. The mission du jour has to do with a nuclear plant strapped with explosives and threatening 10 million lives. Another new element is the normally suave Henry Golding (“A Simple Favor”) wasted as an immortal with bookish knowledge of ancient scrolls. Chiwetel Ejiofor (“12 Years a Slave”), Andy’s CIA contact, as well as Matthias Schoenaerts and KiKi Layne (“If Beale Street Could Talk”), who both shone as fellow immortal operatives in the OG but here are underused and flat. The dialogue is woefully inert and it doesn’t help that the direction by Victoria Mahoney feels like phoned-in nanny-cam footage. The only flashes of verve come when folks are moving and booming: The tight editing and fight choreography go a long way here. But this “Guard” isn’t just old, it’s sad and saggy, and leaves the door wide open for a third installment. Best thing anyone can do is to send the next treatment to the watery depths from which Quỳnh came.
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